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THE POWER OF ENCOURAGEMENT      By     Phil Guerena

One of the greatest gifts given to mankind is the power of encouragement.  This can be easily done by speaking kindly and
uplifting.  Many times it can also be accomplished through written words but with the same emphasis on gentleness and inspiring people to believe in themselves.   Everyone is bestowed with gifts from the time of birth.  Once these virtues are discovered, they can be polished and disciplined to do the best possible in life for one and all.   
Directing children to be the most in their childhood can be very rewarding for them and those doing the motivating.  Of course, angry and negative putdowns do just the opposite.  Telling a child that he is bad and evil has produce killers and criminals.  While patiently and kindly helping them with their homework and activities can give us many good students and professional honest people and excellent workers.  “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it, Proverbs 22:6 (ESV).”  It seems like the Bible is instructing its readers and believers to dedicate a child in his giftedness in order that he may always use it even when he is old.   This is done with a lot patience and gentle determination that this is the way to direct.  
Sometimes we encounter many grownups that have been verbally hammered and injured in their upbringing.  Trying to restore them to a new understanding of themselves and life can be a very challenging yet much appreciated outcome.  There is an old saying, “sticks and stones can hurt but words will never harm me.”   This is not true, cruel words can cause more damage than physical blows.  Many times words are said with the full intention of doing the most destruction possible.  
Once I met a young lady who was totally confused and deeply hurt by the words of her mother.  This woman told her child, “The worst time in my life was the day you were born.”   I spent over one hour telling this young lady how much God loved her.  The day she would invite God into her heart through Jesus Christ, there would joy and rejoicing in heaven on her behalf.   Needless to say she threw herself with tears into the arms of a loving Savior.   I never saw her again, but when I left she was crying with joy and knowledge that she was loved so much that Jesus Christ died on the Cross for her.  She understood that He rose from the dead and was living and able and willing to guide in all of her life.   I met her in an airplane and she was sitting behind me crying.  
Another time I had a young married couple who came to me because they were tearing themselves apart with cruel words.  It all started with the wife constantly heaping insults and belittling remarks at her husband.  He said that he had enough and was sorrowfully ready to call it quits.  But they came to me with one last chance of a possible restoration.   First I asked the young lady to tell us about her childhood and how she was raised.  She related how in her home she was always put down as well as her parents doing the same to each.  She spoke for over one hour recalling many verbal blows of a sword that were directed at her.  
After listening to her, I told the husband.  Your wife has nothing against you.  She is just hurt from her childhood to adulthood and she does not know how to find healing.  But you can help her understanding where she comes from and giving her kind and gentle words of love and with much patience.   They did not use shouting words in all their dealing, just evil intentions in their speech.   Therefore, they did not have to stop shouting at each other.  But the husband now understood why his wife was saying mean things; it was not to really hurt him, she knew nothing else.
He smiled and comply said, she has nothing against me.   She answered; no I do not have anything against you.  They both left gently touching each other and determine to speak with expressions that would communicate their love for one another.  Also ready to forgive any piercing wounds from the pass as they both were on the path of a new way of speaking to each other, uplifting each other.  What they must have later realized, it that their children also had a new beginning and were liberated from a crashing and destroying past.  Now everyone in this family were ever smiling and inspiring each other with positive kind encouraging words.  
This was the easiest marriage counseling I ever did.  Most of the time it may take months before the couple is willing to back down from their pass and create a new way of being ever kind to each other.  Willing to forgive their past whenever it comes up and not let it destroy them.  The power of kind words is ever amazing to me.  This of course, putting out the old and bringing in the new in my own home and life.  I am sorry it took me so long.  But am I ever glad and grateful to Him who loved me and took off the streets to follow Him.   Praise be to Him who loved me even when I was rejecting Him while being a Christian and married, and father of godly children.  Thanks Lord for giving me a loving, forgiving wife who stood by me even while I was fighting my past and my Lord and my family. 
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